Stream of Consciousness: Bravery

I'm not a risk-taker. I'm sure some of you will be surprised by that, but I like to play it safe and make well-informed decisions. My book club The Go Love Yourself Box recently had a book called Brave, Not Perfect by Reshma Saujani, which challenged us to do a small act of bravery each day. I took it to heart and decided to do something about it.

Yesterday, I jumped off a cliff.

Literally. I jumped off a cliff into the ocean. I can justify it wasn't the biggest cliff (15-20 feet) and that I had to watch all of my friends jump before me (including from in the water so I could see how far down they fell and how far away from the ocean floor they were) and how I had to get my friends to encourage me to jump, but I don't need to.

(This isn't me and the lady is clearly more graceful, but you get the point)

Yesterday, I jumped off a cliff.

I was terrified. My legs were trembling enough that I thought I might fall off the cliff instead of jumping. I had to wait a few minutes staring over the edge before I could muster up the courage. I was listening to all my friends tell me it wasn't hard and that thinking about it was making it worse. I did a brief popcorn prayer asking for courage and also not to die, took an obscenely deep breath, held my nose, and leapt.

I landed awkwardly, which hurt, and came up yelling curses ('cause I'm classy like that), but I didn't die. The most interesting part was- it was scary and it didn't feel as scary afterwards, but I still wasn't interested in doing it again. It was fine and moderately fun, but after proving I could do it, I decided that it wasn't for me.

Cliff-jumping wasn't the only brave thing I did that day. I really took the bravery thing to heart. I kayaked on the ocean for the first time (it's surprisingly difficult to go against the waves and wind!), swam in the deep blue water (which freaks me out so much. The ocean is terrifying), and entered an UNDERWATER CAVE.

I am a person meant to be on the ground with the open sky. Being underground and boxed in or high up is unnatural and horrible to me. So swimming in the deep blue water into an underground cave is a level of ridiculousness I didn't know I could do. Following it with cliff diving is more crazy.

Here's a video of an underwater cave which may or may not have been the one I entered

The best part of the adventure is that, while I accomplished all of the things, I realized I didn't necessarily care for any of them. Now, when someone asks if I want to kayak on the ocean or explore an underwater cave or go cliff-diving, instead of saying, "I'm scared to do that", I can now say, "eh I tried that and it's not for me."

Am I still scared of doing those things? Yes, but not as much as I was before. I CAN do those things and I will for the experience, but I don't need to prove it to anyone. I already proved I can do it to myself, and that's all I needed.

Here's to being brave!

It may seem like a silly thing to the people I went with, who are outdoorsy-types and do this stuff often, but I am proud of how much I left my comfort zone and tried something new. I definitely can brag about how capable I am because I have so much more experience. And I am proud to say that even though I was scared, even though I wasn't perfect (I somehow got a splinter from the plastic oar, I got salt water in my eyes and mouth, I landed incorrectly, I got sunburned, etc), I did it.

So yeah. I challenge you to do something brave today. And remember, it doesn't matter if your brave thing is something other people would laugh at and say is "not a big deal" or "easy to do." Being brave is facing something you are scared of or intimidated by, and I encourage you to do whatever it is, whether it's answering a text message or speaking up in a meeting or signing up for a class you're interested in. Even if you fail, you tried and you'll be better for it.

Proud of you all already!

~Katie