Bathtub Wine Critic: Flip-Flop Cabernet Sauvignon

Bathtub Wine Critic (BTWC) is going to be a reoccurring section in this blog... mostly because the process of writing it is super fun. 

What is BTWC? 

It's easy: a bathtub, a ridiculous amount of bubbles, and a random bottle of wine that I know nothing about. Literally, I walk into a grocery store (or liquor store, depending on the state), grab a bottle that looks interesting/inexpensive, and then drink and try to describe it. I judge the wine based on price and taste, and then I judge my wine-tasting skills versus the bottle's description.

Seriously, I add SO MANY bubbles to my bath that I worry they'll get into the wine.

Disclaimer 

I have not been formally trained in wine and I'm pretty poor. Most of these wines are going to be terrible choices if you're actually someone who cares about wine. However, if you want to drink something that isn't awful and IS cheap, this is the place for you.

(Also everyone should drink responsibly and be legal to do so where they are at and use Designated Drivers and other various legal things I probably should mention)

The Tasting

For my first BTWC, I'm drinking Flip-Flop Cabernet Sauvignon. With discounts at Food Lion, I think I spent $4.99ish on this bottle. The wine was on sale and I also got a reduced price for buying multiple bottles (for research, not because I have a problem, I swear).

There you are, beautiful.

Cabernet Sauvignon is my general go-to red. I am teaching myself to like dry wine, but I don't really like it. I like sweet wine or something with full, fruity flavor. Cab Sauv generally seems to be a safe bet for me. I was super excited to see if I liked the cheap version. I'm used to New York City's ridiculous prices- $13 for a glass of house red, which is two times more than a Flip-Flop BOTTLE. Ridiculous.

First taste? Completely nothing on the tongue. It tasted like super thick water. The aftertaste had that weird sour/bitter combo you get from wine. The Cab Sauv was a bit dry but not horrible. I didn't make that stupid pucker face when something really dry hits you in the back of the throat and you wish it didn't. 

Yeah, that's that pucker face I was talking about... plus excessive flailing and falling. Bonus points!

Second taste? I swished this one through my mouth. I definitely tasted fruit of some sort. Based on my extensive wine training, I'd like to say... grapes. I think grapes were involved in this.

That smart ass comment aside, I tasted something like raspberries: jammy but still tart. The aftertaste was a bit woody like oak or cedar. In general, the wine was a bit dry and bitter but, after a while, it just tasted like alcohol and joy.

Overall, the front pallet (aka first taste) was weak and the aftertaste a bit dry and oaky. This is definitely a later pallet wine (aka all the flavor is at the end).

The Critique

Flavor

Flavor-wise, I rate this 3.5 stars out of 5.  I gave it a weird rating because it's not a bad wine, but it's not necessarily a go-to either. And part of me is wondering if I am kind of rating it higher than it should be rated because it's cheap. Like it's palatable and five dollars so why would that not be awesome?

Price

In terms of price, I'd definitely say it's worth it. 5 out of 5 stars because honestly, I don't think I can find a cheaper bottle.

The Actual Description

Here's where the shame starts. After I drink my glass (or two, or three) of wine in the tub, I dry off and read the back of the bottle, or go to the company's website to see how they describe the wine. And then I compare my novice guesses to the actual winemakers. Honestly, I'm assuming it's going to be horrendously embarrassing.

According to Flip-Flop's website, their Cabernet Sauvignon is very dry, full-bodied, and rich. It is made with blackberries, dark cherries, and contains black pepper notes. Finally, it has a lingering finish.
In terms of judging my analysis to their description, I use two categories: Flavor (what's in it) and Body (is it dry? Sweet? Full-bodied or mellow?).

In terms of flavor- whamp whamp. FAILURE TO LAUNCH. I guess I can give myself points for "jammy but still tart" to mean blackberries and dark cherries, but oak is a bit embarrassing to mix up with black pepper. I give myself 1 out of 3.

My wine-tasting skills match his jumping ability.

As for body- I feel pretty good about this one. While they say it was full-bodied, it was pretty watery with a strong finish to me. According to the site, the wine was dry with a tail-end of flavor, which was exactly what I said! Woooo.Granted, this is the easier category to win, but I'm still proud. 3 out of 3 here.

Overall Feelings and Last Thoughts 

I think saying Flip-Flop's Cabernet Sauvignon is a decent, cheap wine isn't necessarily wrong. It's probably not going to be my "let's get it!" wine, but I'd grab it if I needed something fast and cheap. However, I'm sure I could find a better cheap wine for those "emergency" situations. 

So Flip-Flop Cabernet Sauvignon's final rating is 4ish out of 5 stars (which is only that high because of how cheap it is. Seriously, it's so inexpensive). 

Overall Rating: Let's Drink It!

I'm sure real wine critics will read this and start gagging in the back of their throats that I think this is OK, but hell I'm poor, tired, and need to calm down. I'm drinking wine because I need to relax, hence the bathtub and excessive bubbles.

And that's all I have for tonight! I hope you enjoyed this Bathtub Wine Critic. There's more where this came from!

Stay classy, y'all!

~Katie